Trust and feeling of connectedness Sample Clauses

Trust and feeling of connectedness. Connectedness was a commonly cited factor influencing the participant’s decision to have CAI. Several participants reported wanting to be connected to their partner during sex or that they were seeking a connection that goes beyond physical pleasure. One said, “I think it is more about my feelings and my connection with them that makes [bottoming] a little more tolerable. My connection with you and how attracted I am makes me want to do certain things.” These same sentiments were echoed across other interviews. Another participant stated, “I want personal affection. I would get it temporarily while someone is kissing on you and touching your body, but once it’s done and over, there’s no more touching...it is just over.” This statement illustrated the notion that engaging in CAI for some of these men will lead to deeper feelings of intimacy and emotional connection. Additionally, the idea of the insertive partner being the “right” person to bottom for was also a common thread. One participant exclaimed, “Depending on the person, I won’t do certain things, but for the right person, I’ll bottom. But it has to be the right person.” In seeking that connectedness, a poorer state of mental health is associated with being more willing to engage in CAI and several participants stated that they were more depressed or anxious than normal during their last CAI encounter. One participant said, “If I am feeling sad or a lonely state of being, it makes me more willing to submit to my partner. Those are the times where I’m like, OK, I want to feel more penetrated.” A second participant said, “Sex is an emotional type of thing and so depending on what type of emotion you have, it can take a toll on you. It’s like, ‘oh I am feeling bad, so let me let this guy take advantage of me.” Similarly, when asked about feeling close to his partner, the participant exclaimed, “When we are having sex, I feel it is the only way to get him to feel close to me.” Along the same lines, another said, “I am more of the receiver and it is a control issue for me. Most of the times, I am more controlling, but in this way I am more submissive and it lets me lose control.” Other participants were looking for some sort of authoritative figure in their lives to feel connected. One participant said, “I couldn’t run to you when I needed you or get that comfort I needed from you as a dad and so now, I am running to another man who is making me feel the same way I want you to make me feel….If I don’t ha...
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